Light leaves that life
by Smudje
Summary: When a teenage girl commits suicide Shane’s life starts to crumble down. Calls at midnight, intimidation and even violent infringements threaten to take over her life.
1. Chapter 1

**Light leaves that life**

**Summary: **When a teenage girl commits suicide Shane's life starts to crumble down. Calls at midnight, intimidation and even violent infringements threaten to take over her life.

**Dislcaimer: **Don't own...

* * *

As Shane crawled out of bed carefully the sky was totally dark. No stars shone on the firmament the moon too small to illuminate the dark blanket of a sky. But it wasn't actually dark outside only the sky itself. The town was almost bright. Illuminated advertisement signs blinked, street lamps did their job brightened up the night. It must be around one in the morning. Not really late for Shane. Due to the sources of light outside Shane was able to make out the slender figure lying in bed relaxed and sleeping peacefully. Despite the peaceful picture in front of her and the beautiful woman she'd leave behind she didn't feel guilty for her behaviour at all. Quietly she tip toed around to collect her clothes. She didn't want to wake her and then have to face her. As she found her clothes she opened the door quietly and carefully stepped out not looking at the sleeping figure again into the dark hallway. After closing the door behind her she got dressed and with a look at her watch she decided that it was too early to drive home so she headed to the next bar and was promptly faced by a stunning appearance. 

Everybody will know what happened next from here.

Since she had cheated on Page she'd fallen back into old habits. Many hearts had been left behind broken. It had only taken some month and old Shane was back.

Somewhere under someone's sheets.

* * *

Haley sat at her desk that stood right under the window. As she looked out of the window the sky was totally dark. No stars on the firmament and the moon too small to illuminate the dark blanket of a sky. Outside town, where she and her parents lived, very little light brightened up the night. That night Haley sat chewing on her pencil contemplating how to write this letter. In her heart she knew what she had to say but she had no idea how to phrase it so that everyone who was meant to read it would understand. She loves her, loves her deeply but those words she needed to bring on paper were so hard to formulate. 

When she put the pencil down, messaged her throbbing wrist and reading the letter over once again she sighed relieved and placed it on her bed, the sun had started to rise. Softly the morning light crawled into her room and she could her birds sing in the near tree she used to climb on from her window to get out. Or friends used it to climb up to her window and into her room in the middle of the night. She already touched the door handle to open it when she remembered that wonderful night. She had met the woman that broke her heart in a bar she was not allowed to be in in the first place. Fist of all she was under age and secondly her parents had forbidden it. She had seen her and hadn't been able to keep herself from staring at her. Haley had been rooted to the bar sipping her drink. As she had been distracted only for a second she had lost view of that woman. While her eyes had been searching the crowd a incredibly sexy voice had asked her to go somewhere else. They had stood under her window looking up. Haley remembered her amused smile as if it had been yesterday. Finally both had climbed that damn tree and Haley had never forgotten that night. She had dreamed of a future together, starting to meet, starting to date and finally... But that dreams had flown out of the window when she had awoken alone in the morning. She had not even left a note or something. Had just disappeared as if she had never been there, as if she was just a dream.

She looked around one last time opened the door, walked out of her room, out of her parents' house, the house she had grown up in, away from her parents finally walked out of life.

* * *

"Hey Shane look at this!" Alice exclaimed staring at a pamphlet hanging at a traffic light. 

Shane turned and followed Allice gaze. Her face blank eyes widened in shock.

"Beware of the murderer.!!!!!! That killed my daughter" Alice read out loud disbelievingly. "What did you do now Shane?" Alice asked completely shocked.

The pamphlet showed a picture of Shane and the text written under it stood out. It was impossible to not see. A bog red arrow pointed at Shane's face.

Shane just shrugged feeling numb and incapable of saying something or thinking still staring at her picture and trying to process what was written under it. Suddenly she turned and crossed the street and was halfway through the door of the planet when Alice caught up.

"What are you gonna do now?" Alice asked breathlessly. "You could sue. Because of slandering."

Shane faced her and stared blankly through her saying nothing.

Suddenly two young women walking by stopped in track when they recognised her from the pamphlets hanging everywhere in town. They stared at her with a mix of disgust, hate and fear on their faces. The stares were so hard and intense that Shane broke the stare which the women took as a confession. Alice grabbed Shane and pulled her away from them seating her at their usual table and heading off to get some coffee. The others had seen those pamphlets too and were eyeing Shane carefully and concerned. No one spoke due to the lack of things to say. Alice came back with a concerned Kit on her heels.

"Oh my god girl. Alice just told me. You okay? Can we do anything? I mean sure we can, we' re gonna sue. Fight. Everything. Right girls?" the last bit was directed to the others.

Everybody nodded in agreement and started to comfort Shane. But Shane simply stared blankly through everyone and didn't hear what was said. She couldn't believe someone would try to harm her that way. She couldn't believe she knew someone playing such a sick trick on her. Her only explanation was that this must be some kind of a absolutely sick joke. It couldn't be something else. She hadn't killed someone.

Please read and review. productive critic is welcome as ideas.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hope this is any good. My weakness are filler chapters. Please tell if something doesn't add up in this chapter I'll correct it as I'll will correct grammar and stuff when pointed out to me.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own...**

* * *

„Shane did you hear about Brianna?"

Shane looked at Alice in confusion, wrecking her brain for a memory that woukd reveal to her who the hell Brianna is.

"That skinny, tall chick. Curly, blond hair, gorgeous big brown eyes?" Alice tried shaking her head in disbelief.

"C'mon Shane. You hooked up with her on Saturday? On that opening party of that new club? Shane! That's at most two or three days ago."

Her face remained blank while Alice could literally see the wheels turning searching for the memory. Suddenly, after some thinking Shane's face lit up and a dirty smile graced her lips.

"What happened to her?" Shane asked with generic interest, not really getting why Alice pressed that topic. She had only been another meaningless one- night- stand nothing more.

"Well she's been harassed. Actually threatened. Nobody seen anything nor heard something. It's like it's been a ghost leaving no traces. Police is not really into it bit Brianna is totally down a downright scared to make a move. That's why the police has no lead. They don't even know if Brianna saw something helpful. She wouldn't speak," Alice told her compassionately.

"Shit. That sucks. You think she was harassed and threatened because she's a lesbian. It's some homophobic bastard?" Shane asked as compassionately as Alice was speaking.

Alice shrugged then continued:" Hope not. That could become pretty fucked up for our entire community."

Shane pressed her lips together and tapped her feet deep in thought.

Suddenly Alice looked up frowning trying to gather her thoughts together. She hesitated then started to voice her thoughts:" Shane? Think about it. A week ago those pamphlets hanging everywhere where gays and lesbians, everybody of the community could see it, ruin your name and reputation. Making you the most unwanted person in almost every bar, club or whatever and now Brianna being threatened and harassed. What if this is connected? What if it's like a crusade against the gay and lesbian community?"

Shane broke into a doubtful smile.

"C'mon Alice...;" Shane tried.

"Well Shane Alice's thoughts aren't that insane, Bette said who had just appeared with Tina behind Alice and Shane now each taking a seat at their usual table.

"Yeah," Tina said. "It happened all within a week and it started with you Shane. The slandering which will damage your reputation even in the future and a girl who is threatened so much that she is scared to walk out in the streets or even to turn."

Shane looked as if she was somewhere else. Alice and Bette sat there contemplating what was said and speculated.

Bette emerged slowly from her contemplation and continued:" So that would mean that a probably homophobic person picks randomly lesbians and tries to destroy them?"

Tina stared into space as she answered:" Considering what Bette said is true this could become absolutely dangerous for every person that's gay or lesbian."

"Is the police informed about that?" Kit asked as she appeared next to her sister with coffee.

Kit received four nods as an answer.

"Well then we're gonna have to be careful now."

"I can't see a connection," Shane said slowly. "What happened to me... I mean that was a kind of gambling. I personally didn't think that it only took a day to have almost everybody against me and even people I don't know and who don't know me. I personally didn't expect anybody to be against me because of some pamphlet saying I was a murderer without proof or anything else. And then just proceed with harassing a random girl. What's next? Assault? Attacks? I don't know?"

They fell silent and hoped Shane was right and this was all a coincidence.

* * *

Please read and review 


	3. Downward spiral

**Downward Spiral **

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

* * *

It had been a week since that pamphlets had ruined her reputation. Well not really ruined but people looked at her differently. She still couldn't believe that some flyers saying she had killed someone could do this to her. Those flyers truth wasn't even proved but people believed them or at least didn't really doubt them. People who didn't even know Shane who had never spoken to her. Who didn't even doubt the context of that flyer at all. "...Who killed my daughter..." They apparently didn't believe that she had actively killed someone but they couldn't hide their doubts and disapproval that well. Because they knew about her reputation as a heart breaker.

For three days her hair studio at the "Wax" had been almost empty. Not taking into account that her friends had been there a lot to cheer her up.

She hadn't told them about the nightly calls on her cell that had started to take her sleep about three days ago. There was this nagging feeling that someone really tried to harm her as Alice had assumed the day she had told Shane about Brianna. First someone tried to make her lose her face, then Brianna and the calls in the middle of the night.

This morning a picture of Shane had been pinned to the front door of "Wax" with a nail put right between her eyes and two nail put through them. The picture had been ripped because there was a piece of it missing. A part of a hand could be still seen on Shane's shoulder. That picture had made her feel uneasy but even more the note that had been pinned underneath it which said:" To hurt someone you have to do them physical harm. To destroy someone you have to go after the ones' they love."

She had understood it. It meant guilt is what is going to destroy someone.

Her gut clenched every time she recalled the words and the underlying meaning of them. She's been wrecking her brain for an explanation why this happened ever since the nightly calls had started. Thoughts of her friends being terrorised or even hurt crossed her mind every second but she tried everything humanly possible to push them into the back of her head. She couldn't believe that anyone would really pull through with this. This couldn't be true. She couldn't let this be true by actually thinking it and making it possible in her head. She couldn't live with the guilt of anything happening to her friends because of something she did. With that note she was sure that there was someone out there seeking revenge. For killing his daughter. No matter how hard she tried to remember anything like this she came up with nothing. Who could she have killed in a maybe metaphorical way. She hadn't actively killed someone that she knew for sure.

She feared for her friends. But a part of her didn't because that would mean accepting the truth of the threats. But the other part of her truly did fear for her friends playing the evil "what if" game.

But now she would go to the planet and meet people who didn't shun her because of this totally crazy week. She could breathe and distract herself from the note and the fears that had been caused by it.

As she arrived at the planet the first thing she saw was a police car casting blue light at the walls of the surrounding houses of the planet and the crowd of noisy people that had gathered around the place. An ambulance was parked next to the police car and someone was being taken with it. Spotting Alice and Dana she sped towards them having a bad feeling in her gut making her feel nauseous.

Her heart was beating so fast it felt like it would burst through her chest.

Out of breath she asked panting heavily:" Guys. What happened?"

Her eyes following the disappearing ambulance.

"Kit got assaulted," Alice stated still in shock and not ready to believe what had just happened to one of their friends.

"What!" Shane all but shouted.

"How?... I mean it's the middle of the day. It's noon," Shane stuttered anxiously. Having an idea why this had happened in the first place already feeling the guilt eating her alive.

"How is she?" Shane asked tentatively fearing the answer.

Dana looked at Shane with worry in her eyes.

"She was threatened with a gun and ordered to get naked in front of him. He didn't come for money. It seems as if he wanted to show his power over her and humiliate her. She's not seriously hurt. At least not physically. Some bruises and scratches.

"Fuck!" Shane exclaimed upset by what had happened and because of what it had happened. Or better because of whom it had happened.

As this realisation and the brutality of the truth struck her she felt absolutely helpless and most of all guilty. She couldn't do anything to stop this, to protect her friends from this until the person behind this revealed himself and until the reasons behind this were revealed. It was out of her hands in someones hands who didn't care for Shane and her friends. She felt desperate.

"What have I done?" Shane asked herself desperately. Her gut clenched painfully with guilt.

"I gotta leave. I can't take this. I can't take anything more of this happening," Shane told herself.

* * *

**Please tell me what you think.**

A/N: I appreciate it when mistakes are pointed out to me.


	4. Into the dark

**I know it's a strange beginning but please bear with me it's going to turn into a normal chapter after the beginning.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own. If I did I wouldn't end the show.**

* * *

As the night fell, only the moon and the stars kept her company. A shadow grieving, a shadow wailing. The soft breath of the wind caressed the stained cheek. Pools of lucid pain touched those cheeks, the shadow's flesh. Pouring over the statue of unmoving despair.

Just the moon spotted the place where she laid. Gave her light and gave her his smile. The stars took her pain took her cries inside. Gave her love and stayed a night close by her side.

And if anyone ever stumbled over the pulsing material, crying a river, building the exploding bubble of tension encasing this little world, consumed by overwhelming, breathtaking intensity of fear and guilt for those being loved so deeply, shall take it and heal it.

So it was, that only one bench in the night cold time was occupied by an unmoving person. Never even cringing in the cold and hostile air and quietness surrounding her. Reminiscing the events that drove her here into the lonely park, drinking in the solitude of that peaceful place at night time. No one there to reprove her for slipping back into old habits. For numbing the pain with the powder of crazy and fake happyness. Leaving her red and glassy eyed, feeling like shit the next morning. But for one night it seemed worth it.

No one there to be concerned. She didn't want to bring them more pain than she already had. Kit being assaulted. Brianna being assaulted. Tasha being outed to the military, desperately fighting to stay on the job. None of them drew the connection. Maybe they didn't want to.

She feared for her friends every minute, every second passing her by.

Shane was high. Her face breaking into a smile without her knowing it. Her eyes shed tears without her knowing it. Her body convulsed due to the sobs that coursed through it without her knowing it.

Glassy eyes stared into the sky without seeing anything.

A warm hand touched her tear streaked cheek. Gentle and carefully. Shane leaned into the touch without really controlling it. On pure instinct she welcomed the touch, devoured it never ever letting it pass again. Gentle whispers reached her ears. Warm breath came with them making her lean in closer to the sounds.

"Shane what did you do?"

When those words had not only reached her acoustically but also the sense of them Shane bowed her head squeezing her eyes shut. Another wave of sobs shook her. Where was the multi colored high she anticipated by taking the drugs? Where was the soft cloud taking her away cushioning her heavy filled with sorrow head? Instead of this all her emotions seemed to have doubled their intensity. Especially the bad emotions for there weren't any good left at the moment.

"Breathe Shane. I'm here." Carmen said soothingly having seated herself next to an unresponsive Shane.

Slowly Shane got her breathing under control. Impatiently she dried her tears with her sleeve and looked up to the person soothing her. As realization hit her she held her breath in surprise and shock. She swallowed hard another wave of guilt washing over her.

Was pain everything she ever brought on people she loved?

"Carmen?" She breathed hoarsely.

Carmen stroked her cheek as response.

"What did you do Shane?" Carmen repeated her question.

Every word Shane could think of seemed to have stuck in her throat. What did she do? Better where to start? Again Shane kept silent staring into Carmen's eyes her heart pounding too fast a lump forming in her throat making it hard to breathe.

Shane opened her mouth but there was no sound. She cleared her throat trying again.

"I don't know!" Shane said her voice shaking. "Everyone around seems to be getting hurt. Flyers saying I had killed someone. People who don't even know me shun me for what? There was a picture on the front door of wax. Nails had been put through my eyes and my forehead. A message saying that someone wants to destroy me by getting at my friends. There is someone constantly calling me and hanging up. Sometimes the voice laughs at me. An evil laugh. Cause me to shiver in fear."

Shane again locked eyes with Carmen not only revealing her fears but also how terrified and exhausted she was.

"My car crashed. Well I crashed it. The bakes didn't work....."

_

* * *

Shane was on her way to Wax. She had been avoiding the Planet and all her friends like the plague._

_She had seen Kit once, all jumpy and petrified. She had heard Alice worrying about Tasha and that the situation weight heavy on their relationship. So she usually was in Wax taking on more jobs than she could actually attend to when still worrying about her own health. She turned up the volume of the radio to drown out her ringing cell. She hardly ever took the calls. Only when she recognized the numbers. The song flowed through her body and mind and for the first time since Kit had been assaulted and Tasha being outed she felt something like freedom._

_Suddenly squealing tires put her out of he peace and she hit the brakes. But nothing happened._

"_Fuck!" Shane shouted desperately. Again and again she hit the brakes trying to stop her car. As it wouldn't stop Shane turned right to prevent a crash with the car before her. Fortunately a large parking space of a supermarket was on her right hand side and she only hit a bush, a pretty massive bush, that brought her car to a halt. Shane remained in the car gripping the steering wheel tightly. Her knuckles turned white under the grip and sweat poured down her face, neck an back. Her breathe was heavy and racked her eyes wide in shock and fear of death. Her heart pounded painfully hard and fast almost bursting through the bones and flesh. As reality sunk in and she was pretty sure she was still alive she let her head hit the steering wheel with loud thud and tried to breathe evenly. Sitting up straight again she removed her hands holding onto the steering wheel for dear life and tried to get the shaking under control. Again her cell rang. Slowly still shaking she reached for it and answered it without checking call id._

"_I see you're still among the living!" A cold male voice spoke to her making her heart miss a beat._

"_Watch out for yourself and your friends. Next time you might not be so lucky. I have nothing to lose so don't expect mercy. That's for my little girl. Her blood on your hands!" The voice said evilly cutting the connection halfway through one of his outbursts of joyless laughter._

_Leaving Shane staring at her cell puzzled and terrified. Her heart beating too fast again, her breath caught in her throat._

"_What did I do?" Was the silent question circling through her racing mind._

* * *

"You gotta tell the police Shane!" Carmen pressed.

Shane laughed a humorless laugh answering:"I have nothing to say to them. I know nothing. No proof."

Carmen looked away from Shane staring off into space.

"Let's go Shane. I'll walk you. No more drugs tonight."

With that Carmen stood and pulled Shane with her pushing her in the direction of her home. They walked silently each lost in their own thoughts. Not even realizing the awkwardness of the situation with the two of them. After what seemed like forever Carmen gasped in shock and horror. A crying Fontaine of blood red and raging orange flames illuminated the dark sky. Practically shouting the misery into the universe. The distant sound of sirens added to the chaos presenting in front of them.

Breaking out of her trance first Shane started to run towards the burning house desperately shouting Jenny's name. Carmen followed suit trying to keep Shane from bursting into the flames.

"No Shane!" Carmen pleaded with her ex fiancé.

But Shane just shook her head numbly her focus only on the flames eating her home and maybe her best friend. With one swift movement Shane broke free of Carmen's hold and headed towards the backyard praying to find Jenny in time.

Meanwhile Bette and Tina arrived heading towards Carmen whose faces was covered with tears fighting the hold of a neighbor preventing her form storming right after Shane.

"What happened?" Bette shouted horrified.

"Shane ran in to find Jenny. I don't know. I don't know. Oh God Shane!" Carmen all but shouted still fighting the strong arms restraining her.

Both Bette and Tina immediately looked back towards the burning house fearing for their friends the smoke burning in their eyes shouting both Shane's and Jenny's names even though they knew that it was a futile attempt.

Then Tina turned back towards Carmen taking her from the stranger and holding her tightly. Carmen collapsed into Tina's hold onto the floor sobbing uncontrollably.

The distant sound of the firefighters came nearer, they were awaited desperately. With screeching tires they stopped in front of the house secured the zone around and started to work quickly to extinguish the flames.

"Our friends are inside!" Bette shouted at the firefighter barely holding it together.

"How many?" the firefighter alerted.

"Two. Shane and Jenny. Please!" Carmen pleaded with the man.

He nodded and walked away talking to his chief. After what seemed like an eternity firefighters started to walk around the house trying to find a way in to save the two women even though they didn't believe that they would be still alive.

Outside Bette, Tina and Carmen were waiting impatiently and desperately for word if they were still alive.

Suddenly the firefighter came back around the house carrying two bodies towards the ambulance. Time seemed to be stretching like chewing gum. Seconds felt like hours and every movement seemed to take forever. Carmen had a death grip on Tina and Bette being helped to stand up straight staring at the two ambulances waiting fearfully for information on their friends' condition.

Suddenly a straight beeping sound cut through the noise of the night silencing everything else. Drew everyones focus towards the cause of that petrifying sound causing them to hold their breath.

Hectic shouting erupted from one of the ambulances. The one Jenny occupied. Another struggle erupted from the ambulance that held Shane as she violently fought everyone trying to restrain her to the gurney and the oxygen mask covering her mouth.

"No Jenny! Let me go you son of a bitch! Jenny!" Shane shouted trying to get to her.

Fresh tears poured from Carmen's eyes as she helplessly witnessed Shane's futile attempts to fight her way through to Jenny and Carmen couldn't hurry to her aid because an also crying Tina and Bette had a tight hold on her.

After some minutes of pure chaos Jenny's heart had started to beat again and both were rushed off to the hospital.

The house had completely burned down. Fortunately it hadn't taken down the surrounding Houses as well. But as the three of them stared at the ashes the reality of what could have happened hit them hard and brought tears.

"Who's is doing this to us?" Tina whispered.

"Someone. Someone who doesn't hesitate to manipulate Shane's car to make her crash. Someone who doesn't care and assaults people Shane loves. Someone who wants to destroy Shane. Someone who blames Shane for killing his daughter and who has nothing to lose!" Carmen told them desperately.

The three of them still tried to process this new piece of information as Bette said:" So that's why she's been hiding.

* * *

**A/N: I know it's a bad place to end the chapter but my muse has left me again at exactly this point.**

**Please review and tell me what you think.**


	5. Demons

_

* * *

So what do we know?_

_Do we actually know?_

_In the darkness of her unconcious mind she fought a hopeless fight. Screamed. Wailed. Screamed. She found herself laughing hysterically for lack of a better response to the cruelty she was experiencing. _

_The eyes. They were boring into hers. So intense with pain and sadness. The smile and the actions didn't match these eyes. A pool of seething sadness and despair. His actions and words spoke of never ending hatred. _

_Her thoughts were circling in on the scene in the house. The doorbell rang. Jenny felt exhausted. Of feeling like a stranger among her friends. Of doing this so that her friends didn't have much of a choice to react any different. She opened the door her hazy mind detecting no unease. Not even when she was faced by a unknown man. But defenitely when she felt herself being shoved roughly in her own home. Even more when he invited himself in and when he revealed the gun he had concealed until then. She was shaking when he kicked the door shut and forced her to lock eyes with him and she got a glimpse on the condition of his mind. He smiled. It gave him a real crazy expression. No insane._

_Her heart was hammering in her throat. Her mouth so dry she had difficulty swallowing. _

„_What do you want?" was all she rasped out._

_In response he laughed. Laughed out loud. Bowed down and clutched his gut so hard did he laugh. But Jenny didn't feel like joining in. The coldness of the bitter and joyless sound sent a shiver down her spine._

_Then his eyes again. If she didn't feel so afraid and theatened. If he didn't carry a gun. If he didn't point it at her face. If he didn't invite himself in her home she probably would feel compassion._

_Well but he did do all those things so there was no place in her mind that could even pretend to feel an ounce of compassion._

„_What I want? You ask what I want?"he whispered absendminded. Scratching his stubble on his chin appearing to be deep in thought. All of a sudden he jerked his head up looking her straight in the eyes. The intensity of the hatred pooling out of them almost threw her off. It sent chills down her spine. _

_He came nearer. Slow and careful. Until she could feel his warm breath on her face. She flinched and squeezed her eyes shut when he raised the hand that held the gun and stroked with the nuzzle over her right cheek._

„_I'm so sorry," he whispered with honest regret in his voice._

„_But shooting your bestest buddy. Well even though I have to admit that the thought of toturing her to death did sound satisfying I'd rather enjoy seeing her falling apart over the guilt of being responsible for the deaths and the destroyed lives of those she loves."_

_He smiled at her._

„_I take it you don't know the dark spot in your friend's heart?"he commiserated with her._

„_DO YOU NOT?" he suddenly shouted startling her._

_Jenny couldn't help but scream appalled._

_Again the stranger erupted into a fit of laughter._

_Tears of despair began to stain Jenny's cheeks. Her breath came racked and short._

_He raised his other hand to her left cheek and wiped the tears away gently._

„_Shhhh, don't cry," he soothed. _

„_It's gonna be okay. Well I can't vouch that your death won't be painful but I can assure you that you die with the knowledge of why you must die."_

_The silent tears turned into sobs. Sobs shook her. A cold iron fist embraced her heart. Held in a iron grib. So tight it felt like she couldn't breathe properly. _

„_I don't wanna die," she sobbed quietly._

_His smile grew sadistic._

_It grew. Soon it filled his entire face. It drove her insane that this cruel and sadistic smile didn't match his sad and sorowful eyes at all. The expessions of them changed from sorrow and sadness to hatred within seconds. But sorrow and sadness were more dominant. The honest regret. That scared her even more. _

_Suddenly anger raged through her veins for being so pathetic._

„_I DON'T WANNA DIE!" she shouted and shoved his hands off her face._

_A malicious smile spread on his features it grew with every inch his hand rose and seemed to explode when this hand connected painfully with Jenny's face. The impact of the slap threw her off her feet and she hit the floor with a loud thud._

_Slowly he kneeled down and hovered theateningly over her petrified form._

„_Jenny,"he whispered full of compassion. _

„_This happens to you because of your friend's darkness. His hand not holding the gun travelled upwards on her body from the inside of her thigh while he spoke._

„_I had a beautiful girl. She would turn eighteen now. But she won't. She'll always be stuck at eighteen. Her life will always be stuck at eighteen. As my count of my life will. It stopped six month ago. My life stopped six month ago. As hers did."_

„_But you know that HER life never stopped moving? HER life still moves around my, our life that got stuck six month ago. Nothing happened to HER. SHE gets to live the strands she created over the years. My girl doesn't. She gets to breathe the breaths that I held ever since. That my girl can't breathe anymore,"he continued in the cold whisper. With that he had reached Jenny's throat._

„_SHE, your Shane killed my girl. And I will destroy her for that,"he closed his hand aound her throat and got so close to her face that the tips of their noses almost touched. His hot breath hit her face. His eyes so sad and the seething hatred bored into hers with more intensity than they had through they entire encounter._

„_I've got her riled up with my little messages but I learned that's not enough. HER friends are still backing her up instead of shunning her," he accompanied his words with a violent push onto her throat that momenatrily took her breath."_

„ _Because I fear my little messages weren't clear enough."_

_He released the pressure enough that she could gasp for the important oxygen. She coughed and gasped._

_He raised to his feet and walked towards the door and while he did so he informed he:"Remember Shane, your best friend, the person you trust the most got you killed."_

_Jenny had gotten to her knees and tried to breathe regularly to try and make a run for it. But she froze in shock and terror as she realized which death he had in store for her._

„_No!" she gasped and shaking her head in disbelief._

_Startled by the sound he turned and he realized that she knew what was coming for her he gave her a look full of compassion and regret._

_Then he started to spill the gas in the house. _

„_I wouldn't Miss Schecter. I won't shoot you but maybe hurt you a little,"he told her in a fatherly rigorous voice._

_That kept Jenny where she was and of course the locked backdoor. He had done everything to make this work she realized._

_After he finished the task he came back to Jenny. _

_Let out a long breath. Then he snapped her hands and started to tie them up. Then her feet and connected both hands and feet with each other with another piece of rope._

_After that he left and returned with a scissor and laid it down next to Jenny. With a cruel smile he said:"I changed my mind. That's the small piece of hope I 'll leave you with."_

_As he walked out the door he threw a lighter made out of metal onto the gas. He had barely reached the last step and the house burnt._

_She knew._

With a scream she jolted awake. Her surroundings were blurred and hazy. She screamed still feeling the heat. Feeling the skin tear up where she was tied as she attempted to grasp the piece of hope he had left her with. She fought for air as she felt the smoke replaced oxygen. She coughed against the smoke in her lungs. She flinched away when a hand tried to embrace hers. When someone spoke to her soothingly. Then there was a blur of people coming in the room. Coming to her bedside. She felt a litlle pinch and then drifted off again. A little fear nagging at the back of her mind. Reminding her that unconciousness wasn't any better. But the thought slipped. At least she had peace until the drugs started to wear off. That could be still hours from now.

Shane remained at her bed. Grasping Jenny's hand as if it was an anker holding her up over water she was about to drown in. Keeping her in place in the wide ocean so she wouldn't get lost in the vast nothingness of the blue.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. She didn't turn. Because acknowledging somebody else's presence would mean facing eveything. Her concerned friends. The truth. But what was the truth? That she was a risk to all of her friends? That's all she knew. She knew she must have done something to someone to go such lengths to get to her.

„Hey Shane, Alice whispered, you should go back to your room. Get some rest"

But as expected Shane shook her head and stayed.

She knew the others deserved to know. Maybe even should know. But somehow they had ealized now was not the time. But Shane knew some time soon would be the time and she had no right to deny them an explanation. But first so she hoped Jenny would get through. Maybe Jenny could clear the situation. What was happening. What she had done. Since this morning. The moning after Jenny almost died she knew that the guy who did this wanted Jenny alive. As Shane had reached her after breaking the backdoor, Jenny had almost completely freed herself. With the piece of hope he had left her with. That's what he had called it this morning when he had called Shane on the phone in her hospital room. Jenny maybe even would have made it outside. The front door was unlocked. The area around the front door didn't burn. But you could have only known from inside. So Jenny had only been unconcious when Shane had carried her out because they had fled through the backdoor. The longer way.

He wanted someone to know Shane's secret she didn't even know. She knew the warm ups were over.

* * *

**Please read and review.**


	6. Le vent nous portera

**Hi thanks to everyone who dropped a review**

**And on we go This Chapter is rated T already in forethought of the end  
**

**I don't own the show. If I did, it would be still on the screen.  
**

Tout disparaîtra mais Le vent nous portera

_(Everything will disappear but the wind will carry us_)

* * *

_Je n'ai pas peur de la route_

_(__I'm not scared of the road__)_

Shane's friends had slowly realized that Shane wouldn't leave Jenny's side for even a second if was only to grab a bite or shower.

So they had left to go home. Coming by everyday. On the third day after Jenny almost died she woke up.

For the first time long enough to take in her surroundings without falling right back into her panicked state of mind. Her eyes stopped on a figure next to her. She looked quite uncomfortable but still she was sound asleep.

Slowly images of what had happened to her came flooding back into the conscious part of her mind. The emotions forced her to squeeze her eyes shut and take some deep breaths to ward off the oncoming panic attack.

Feeling a really tight like almost bone crushing oh fuck is that hurting I might gonna scream type of tight squeeze Shane opened her eyes to see Jenny lying in bed her body stiffened and tears pooling out of her eyes.

„Shh," Shane tried to soothe her friend, storking her hand softly.

Shane felt like screaming. Screaming at whoever had done this to her friend. Screaming at herself for obviously having screwed up again. But big time this time obviously. Screaming at the world for hating her so much.

It tore her apart to see Jenny in obvious mental pain. She felt so helpless. For one not knowing what she had done to have someone basically threaten her friends. And secondly being at a total loss as to what she could do to stop this. A sob pulled her back into reality.

She couldn't fight the tears any longer as Jenny looked into her eyes with so much pain in them. But there was no blame. That's what broke the dam.

Silent tears stained Shane sorrowful face as she fixed her friend with her intense gaze.

Jenny lifted a hand in an attempt to brush away her friends tears but was stopped by Shane's gently and strong grip leading her hands to her lips.

„I thought I had lost you Jenny," Shane whispered her voice breaking from emotion.

Jenny smiled at Shane trying to soothe her torn up friend.

„What did you do Shane?" Jenny asked after a while. Her voice held no trace of an accuse or blame.

Shane barked a hollow laugh and shrugged helplessly.

„Obviously what I'm best at. I screwed up."

Jenny lightly hit her in response but turned serious:" He was so sad."

When Shane raised a brow in disbelief at Jenny's understanding demeanour she continued with a little more force.

„Between being angry hateful and purely violent he was so sad. He lost his daughter I think. That was what terrified me the most. The sadness while he threatened me."

Shane rubbed her face with both hands several time before looking up to meet Jenny's gaze.

„Did he say something? I.... ähm.. I mean about what he thinks I've done?" Shane asked hopefully and disbelievingly.

The look Jenny send her made her gut twist in discomfort.

„What?" Shane breathed anxiously.

Jenny cleared her throat and accepted the cup of water gladly that Shane offered to her.

„He blames you Shane." Jenny sounded desperate to find out that he had been wrong.

„He said you killed his daughter and he can't have you live a life of joy while his daughter can't. He wants to punish you. What did you do?" Her voice turning more desperate by every passing minute of silence.

„I didn't kill anyone," Shane exclaimed equally desperate. „I couldn't..... Jenny!"

Jenny grabbed Shane's hand and started to draw soothing circles on her knuckles.

„I know. I mean I.. I couldn't imagine you killing anyone. But why does he do that if you weren't involved in any way?" Jenny inquired trying to reason with her friend who had been shaking her head almost violently for the entirety of Jenny's talk.

Meeting Jenny's gaze seeing questions over questions Shane started to panic. Was Jenny really considering the possibility of her having killed someone? She couldn't. She wasn't. But still there were so many questions in Jenny's eyes. Questions Shane couldn't answer her. Slowly still shaking her head Shane stood and started to retreat walking backwards.

„Wait Shane. It can only help talking the possibilities through," Jenny pleaded with her friend.

Seeing she was about to basically run from the room a piece of a memory popped into her head.

„Wait! Wait Shane! He said if you don't believe me you should pay the central cemetery a visit. You would know who you'd be looking for. It's in the back by the fringes of the adjoining park. He says there were only to rows one unfinished." Jenny recalled.

Shane had stopped shaking her head at that and had taken to stare at Jenny in disbelief.

She really doesn't believe me. She really believes this torturous sadistic bastard.

Realizing this she felt the tears forming once again.

She didn't know if feeling like being punched multiple times was allowed after what Jenny had been through supposedly because of her but right now she found she didn't care of the rationality of her emotions.

She turned around aprubtly and disappeared from the room, from the hospital leaving a desperate and crying Jenny in her wake.

* * *

Don't worry Jenny doesn't believe that for a minute but still she somehow has a right to trying to find out the truth.

Please drop a review

And promise you don't have to wait for the next chaper and again every mistake is mine


	7. geboren um zu leben

**A/N: I'm hopeless. Even if I have the story basically written and finished I still can't seem to be able to update. Well it's still faster than usual ;).**

**Thx to shanesthebest. (I'm horrible because I constantly forget to thank you......) Hope you like it.  
**

Disclaimer: Nothing's changed. I still don't own.....

* * *

Shane had been walking the always busy streets of LA aimlessly. She refused to allow her mind to think. She had passed numerous bars. Had walked into just as much as she had passed but had walked out without taking a drink.

She had seen people. Shady people in alleys she knew she could get stuff from but again she had approached and had walked away without buying something.

She felt so helpless and so alone right now. Had she been able to think rationally she would have deduced that she wronged Jenny in her assumptions.

But could she really blame Jenny for thinking that could she. She had almost died at the hands of some psycho who claimed Shane had killed his daughter. How could Jenny not entertain a moment of doubt. But still it hurt.

The day was turning into night when Shane realized where she had ended up the central Cemetery. Her hand on the gate she hesitated.

Jenny's hospital room wasn't emtpy any more. The entire posse had gathered to look how she was doing and had been delighted to see her awake.

After asking how she was and skirting around the whys the awkwardness of the previous months returned to the room full of former friends until Carmen made her appearance.

„Hey people. Hey Jenny hoe are you?" Carmen asked concerned. After receiving a non committal shrug she surveyed the crowd.

„Where is Shane?" she asked worriedly having witnessed her in the park only three days prior.

Everybody shrugged and answered that she might be out.

„Well the she must have walked cause her car's in the lot. And besides where would she got to?" Carmen pointed out having an uneasy feeling in her gut.

Alice turned to Jenny:" Hasn't she been here?"

Jenny looked away to hide her guilty expression. The proof that she hadn't been really successful in doing it was Carmen who asked her what had happened today between the two of them. Jenny guiltily filled them in. About what this man had said to her and about Shane. She left out the part about how Shane had reacted to her.

„What the f***!?" Bette exclaimed.

„So somebody blames Shane for his daughter's death and... wait did she know about it?" Bette asked.

„I don't think......" Carmen cut Jenny off.

„She did know.... in a way."

Catching the disbelieving and slightly accusing looks on her friends' faces she hurriedly continued.

„I accidental found Shane in the park three days ago. Just before the hou.... you know. She was trying to get high but I think despite the drugs she couldn't.

So I walked over and asked what was wrong. She told me that she almost totaled her car because someone manipulated the brakes or something.

She told me about some one calling at night. I think she drew a connection between what was happening to her with what was happening to you. I mean Jenny said that this man blames Shane and wants to make her life a living hell."

The silence that followed Carmen's statement was deafening and lasted about several years. At least that's what it felt like to the people in the room.

„So.... I think I know where Shane went. Either a bar were she drinks herself in oblivion or to the cemetery. I think the cemetery. So do we go?" Alice asked into the crowd.

They were all gathering their think preparing to leave when Kit interrupted them:" I think we should leave her. She'll come to one of us when she's ready. She has changed guy. She has learned to seek us out for serious things. Trust her to do the right thing."

The others nodded reluctantly and hoped that Kit was right about that.

„Well we still should call her you. Leave a message that she's not alone in this and she can turn to anyone of us," Tina suggested.

This idea eased the worried tension a little. Voice mail picked up and after they given their message Carmen added information about her current living situation.

Having done just that they said their goodbyes to Jenny and Carmen and left with an uneasy feeling building in their guts. Worry eating away at their substance and the disbelief of havin heard that some one accused Shane of murder. They didn't doubt her not for even a millisecond.

After taking several deep breaths Shane tried the fifth time to enter the cemetry. She didn't know what she feared to find. What made her hesitate and stall in the first place.

She knew she hadn't killed anyone so what was she fearing here.

Slowly she opened the rusty gate. The sound of it gave the location an even scarier feeling.

The sky had darkened and only some light installed on the side of the paths between the graves spent light.

With hesistant steps she walked towards the adjoining park. Huge trees cast shadows over the graves and tombstones under them.

She had reached the last two rows. One of them wasn't finished yet.

She walked down that row looking at the tombstones both hoping to recognize and not to recognize some one.

Suddenly she stopped. After a minute she released the breath she didn't know she was holding and crouched down reluctantly. She crawled closer to the tombstone staring at the picture attached to it. She recognized her.

The last grave of the last two rows. She recognized her face. She would under millions. As she would recognize Carmen's anywhere. She even remembered her name.

Haley.

* * *

Please review. Constructive critisim totally welcome.

One more chapter to go. Puhhh


	8. Where we belong

**Rating changed for this chapter**: **T or better M. Yeah I go with M for violence **

**A/N: Huu final Chapter. The showdown and angst. Much angst. I'm insecure..... but enough of me whining on we go....**

**Disclaimer: Getting tired of this.... I don't own  
**

* * *

She couldn't believe her eyes. Haley. What had happened? She felt kind of relieved in a really inappropriate way she guessed.

With that tombstone she knew she hadn't killed anyone. She had known before but now she had proof. Still it bothered her that Haley's father thought she did.

What had happened to her that her father would go to such great length to actually burn down a house if there wasn't more to her death than meets the eye. She felt uneasy. And sad. She had liked her. But she had lied about her age.

She slept with almost any women but never when they were under age. And besides she hadn't been looking for a committed relationship. But Haley had. So Shane had walked out on her after Haley has fallen asleep.

Shane decided to pay the central library a visit to find out what happened to Haley.

She set the tower of news papers of the past year onto the table and plopped into the chair. Again she hesitated but after deep breath she rooted through the news papers til she found the paper of the day Haley died. She spotted Haley's obituary immediately. But only in the announcement made by friends she she got s clue as to what could have happened. They had recited one of her poems and it spoke of suicide.

Had she killed herself? Because of her, Shane? She couldn't believe Haley would have done this but why else would her father blame her for her death? She couldn't take this right now and retrieved her cell from her pocket while basically running from the library.

She noticed she had a message on her voice mail she decided to listen to it before calling some one. She didn't know who yet but she was going to call some one.

Having listened to the message about three or four times she made a decision and hurried down the streets towards Carmen's apartment.

Cursing under her breath for leaving her car at the hospital.

While she walked to Carmen the weight of what she had found out and what she thought she had found crashed down on her. She felt like she couldn't breathe properly. She felt guilt spreading thoughought her veins pulsing through her body. Making her sick from the inside out.

A little voice in her head tried to calm her. Telling her the only thing she really knew was that Haley had died and short afterwards the terror had started.

But still she couldn't get rid of the feeling of being responsible for someone's death. Again the voice informed her that she hadn't killed some one. Even if the girl had committed suicide it didn't mean she had done this because of Shane. Still she felt the guilt almost paralysing her.

Having arrived at Carmen's front door she rung the bell immediately as to not bail out.

Carmen hurried to open the door because she predicted Shane was standing outside.

„Hi," Carmen greeted her old and still love.

She didn't receive an answer. Instead of saying something Shane started towards Carmen stroking her cheek. Carmen didn't fight the touch thinking Shane might just need it right now.

After a breathlong silence Carmen felt herself being backed up against the wall next to the door hearing the door fall shut.

Shane kissed Carmen hungrily, almost desperately. Roughly.

Carmen grabbed Shane by her hands and pushed her away gently trying to get her to meet her eyes. Shane refused to and leaned in to capture Carmen's lips again. This time Carmen let. Let herself be pushed onto her couch.

Returning Shane's desperate need to not be alone the best way Shane knew how to do. The kisses became softer. Shanes stroked Carmen over her breast. Her touch trailing down the fabric that is covering her.

Played with the hem of the shirt until she reached under it and started massaging Carmen's breast never losing contact with her lips.

Tears trailed down Shane's face. Her eyes tightly shut while the tears fell and she kissed the love of her life. As she attempted to shed Carmen's clothes she gently intervened. Grabbing Shane's hands and bringing them up to her lips caressing and kissing them gently. She leaned in to kiss away the tears and ended up putting her forehead to Shane's realizing how cheesy and corny it would be if she had kissed the tears away. At that image she smiled.

„What do you smile about?"Shane asked panting slighty her voice sounding rough from emotion and tears.

„I just realized I was going to go all cheesy on you before I stopped myself." Carmen answered in a low voice.

As Shane didn't react Carmen stood up making Shane follow by tugging her by her hand.

„Come on. Lay down for a bit."

Shane didn't fight her and let Carmen tuck her in like you would a small child.

She grabbed Carmen's hand and pulled her down beside her. Her way of asking her to stay.

Carmen watched Shane fall asleep. Gently she wiped the tears away and lay down next to her listening to her breath. Some time after she dosed of too.

A loud bang woke Carmen up. Disorientated she glanced around trying to put the previous day together. All of a sudden she jolted fully awake looking next to her. The bed was empty.

Shane. „Shane!" She shouted.

A chuckle made her whip around. What she saw made her blood run cold. A man stood in her bedroom with a gun to her head and Shane standing beside him desperately thinking of a way out of this.

Wait, why did he have the gun to her head and not Shane's?

„What's going on Shane?" Carmen whispered her voice laced with fear.

„Oh didn't dear Shany tell you what she did?" he taunted her smiling menacingly.

Carmen fixed Shane with a inquiring stare. But Shane looked desperate and helpless.... and.... guilty?

„Tell her!" The man ordered her unlocking the safety of the gun. Carmen's eyes went wide in fear and Shane's face lost the rest of ist color.

A cruel look made Shane respond. Her voice sounded weak and raspy with fear.

„His daughter committed suicide. He thinks......."

A smack interrupted what Shane was about to say next. Blood ran down Carmen's face. She winced in pain. When she looked up terror and shock in her eyes mixed with tears trailing down her face mixing with the blood Shane felt like dying inside.

„I killed his daughter!" She screamed panting rapidly in despair.

Shane tried to read the man's face. Deduce if he was content now that she admitted being involved in his daughter's death.

„I don't think she believes it yet." Turning towards Carmen he repeated:" I don't think she believes it yet, don't you agree?"

Carmen's eyes widened in disbelief and shock. She felt paralysed. Suddenly the man was in her face. „Don't you agree?!"

Carmen nodded. First slowly than frantically. „Yes!" she cried. lying**(AN:I still don't know the -ing-form for lie)** killed her inside.

Shane felt a cold fist gripping her heart. Even though she knew Carmen had to say this to survive.

„Even your little friend thinks so. What do I have to do to make you stand up for what you did?" he asked rhetorically fixing both of them with a stare.

„Hmmm. I tell you what;" he whispered into Carmen'S ear so Shane wouldn't hear. „I'll break her by hurting you."

Carmen started shaking. The tears like waterfalls now. She feared for her life. Who wouldn't. But she also feared for Shane. What she would be after this ended.

„Will you cooperate?" he whispered to her. His voice sounding gentle and sad. Full of regret.

She felt like throwing up. Staring at Shane who stood there at the door. Bound by ropes to that goddamn door. Seeing her eyes. The tears and the guilt. The fear of losing her after just having found her again. The guilt for what was happening to Carmen. But she had no choice. She hoped if she cooperated he'd go easier on both of them.

So she nodded. Hesitantly. Fear building a painful knot in her insides. Making it hard to keep her dinner down.

So she closed her eyes as he pulled out a syringe. As he grabbed her limbs and fixated them to the bed. As he stopped the blood flow in her left arm just to push the liquid into her veins. She had her eyes closed as Shane screamed at the top of her lungs. Cursing at the bastard who was doing this to them. She had her eyes closed when she heard banging and smashing, frustrated cries of pain and pure despair and frustration. When the liquid burnt her veins. When she felt she was flying. Circling, Crashing. Nothing was steady anymore. She didn't know what or where she was anymore. She pulled her eyes open in hope to steady herself. But everything was closing in on her. Choking her. When she finally managed to focus she screamed at what she saw. It was horrible and it couldn't be. How long had she been under. Shane ..... She lay still... unmoving. Her eyes staring deadly up at her. Blood continuously pooling out of every place on her skin. The blood rised. Filled the entire room. Soon she would drown in it.

No! She screamed. Anybody has to hear she thought.

Shane was paralysed as she stared at Carmen. She had her mouthed wide open. Definitely screaming but no sound escaped her mouth. She was repeatedly staring at the floor Shane stood on. Crying so hard and panting so fast. As if she was about to drown. She moved desperately in her restraints.

„Like what you see?"he asked smiling evilly at her.

Shane spit right into his face. And screamed. She could be heard. She had to be. That was not a frickin` panic room. She hadn't been screaming long when she felt like passing out from a sudden pain at her throat. She chocked and gasped for breath. He had hit her with his gun onto her throat. When she screamed no sound was heard. The realization hit her like running into a brick wall. And when the choking eased he laughed at her terrified and shocked expression.

Somebody has to have heard she prayed.

„Well Shane we wouldn't want to be heard before our sweet get together is over, would we now? Don't worry if your're lucky your larynx will heal."

Carmen had stopped fighting her restraints and seemed to come back down from whatever he had injected her with.

Slowly he disappeared from the room mumbling about being hungry. Shane took her chance calling for Carmen to wake up. But she still couldn't say a word. Panicking she started to try to get out from her restraints. With every passing second the panic grew. And her movement became more hectically.

„Well, well," he said strolling back into the room. „When I've eaten that, I'll end this. I won't push my luck even though the neighbours seem quite disinterested in all the screams or they're all deaf." He joked.

While he ate Carmen came to. Still everything seemed to turn and move but she saw Shane alive and almost choked on her sobs in relief. She saw an angry bruise forming on her throat and asked concerned:" Are you okay?"

Shane only nodded weakly and turned back towards the man trying to get him to acknowledge her.

„What. You want my attention?" he smiled cruelly at her. „Start. I'm all ears. But stop you can't talk so how were you planning on doing that?" he taunted her.

She almost screamed in frustration and hate for this man and despair at being so helpless. So she simply directed all her hatred at him and hoped she would kill him with just her hatred.

He laughed at her. Joyless laughter. Taunting and cruel laughter.

Again she fought the ropes the bound her to the door. Her wrists started bleeding.

„Okay girl I'll untie you." She looked at him suspiciously when he approached her and started to lose the knots binding her feet.

„You'll have a task." He revealed a second gun. „You will shoot her!"

Shane stopped breathing as she heard that. Again trying to talk. That only made him chuckle in amusement. Desperately she sought Carmen's gaze. Fresh tears making their way down Carmen's beautiful face.

She hadn't even realized that he had finished to untie her.

„Before I hand you a gun I'll give you the rule. If you don't shoot her I'll kill her. In the cruelest and most painful way. I'm creative. But let me tell you it won't be fast. It will be slow and painful. And I'll have you watch it. So you're choice. You don't pull that fucking trigger she'll die. You do she'll have a chance to see another day if you don't screw up. And if you're asking yourself why you should trust me to not kill her anyway. Well you'll just have I suppose. By the way guilt has the power to destroy so much," he was smiling menacingly.

„I want you to aim at her stomach. You won't miss that. Well you better don't or you might end up killing her after all. That would be quite a proof for miserable karma. Your choice. I want you to die of guilt. Literally."

When Shane made no attempt to move towards Carmen or raise the gun he pulled the safety of his gun again. At this Shane moved towards him.

„And just to inform you. You try something funny and she'll be dead."

Another step.

„one......"

No movement.

„....two...."

She lifted the gun. They gazes locked. Both knowing that this was the only chance for Carmen to survive. A twisted choice for Shane. That had the potential of killing Shane. From the inside out. But Carmen mentally tried to make her do it. It was the only chance she had.

He started to count three when Shane pulled the trigger..... twice.

She dropped the gun and hurried towards Carmen.

„I... boah it hurts," Carmen breathed out. But before anything else could be said she passed out. Shane cursed soundlessly under her breath. How was she going to call help?

She grabbed her cell and send out a text to Alice. To send an ambulance to Carmen's Apartment. Then she hurriedly made sure the man was not going to be of any harm to them she checked Carmen's vitals. Her hands shaking. Tears so much almost drowning them both. When she could feel a pulse she took Carmen in an embrace. Hoping help would come soon. Her cell was ringing. Somebody knocking the door down. Somebody pulling Carmen from her grip. Somebody keeping her from fighting the paramedic. Somebody guiding her through the hospital. Somebody looking at her injuries. X-Rays. Somebody laying her down onto a hospital bed. Attaching an IV to her arm. Trying to soothe her.

When Shane came to the next day she felt her throat hurt like a b****.

She turned and saw Alice sitting next to her. Shane opened her mouth to ask what had happened when no sound came out.

She panicked when the images of the previous night came back to her.

Hearing panicked panting next to her Alice awoke with a start.

„Shane. Calm down."

But Shane shook her head talking trying desperately to make Alice understand.

„Shhh Shane. I'll give you an update but calm down."

At that Shane slowly made herself stay calm to make Alice talk.

„Carmen will live. They took the bullet out that night. No complications. The man who threatened you is dead. The Police wants to talk to you but Jenny already identified him. There most likely won't be any charges for you."

Shane couldn't stop the tears from falling. She felt herself being pulled into an embrace and let it all out.

When she had calmed a bit a doctor approached her and introduced himself as Dr. Stevens.

Shane couldn't really concentrate on her own injury but now the Doc put the focus on it and the fears of what he might announce spread like fire through her body.

Silently she waited for him to finish his doctor talk and switch to civilian explanations.

Why couldn't she talk.

„Your Larynx has been smashed by the blow you received to your throat. Only time will tell how extensive the damage is. You won't be able to talk till the Larynx has recovered but right now I can't make a forecast on how long this will take or if it will completely heal."

Silence filled the room until Alice broke it with a question Shane was glad she asked, seeing she couldn't.

„What do you mean? If it doesn't heal she' be mute for the rest of her life and if it doesn't completely heal. What she'll be?" Alice asked anxiously feeling bad for her friend.

„Well If there is no full recovery of the Larynx she'll be able to make sounds and speak but definitely weaker and more of a whisper than with a full recovery. At the moment the chances for a full recovery are 50 50."

With that he retreated and left them both to think.

After a while she asked for a piece of paper and a pencil with a motion of her hand.

Can you tell Carmen.... She hesitated and after some time she put the pad and pencil away being at a loss for words.

Alice had to battle the tears that were threatening to fall seeing Shane like this. Shane didn't know what to say and honestly Alice didn't have a clue how the future would look like. Even if Carmen forgave Shane for putting a bullet into her stomach, could Shane forgive herself? How would Shane react towards the rest of the gang? They'd suffered too, because that man blamed Shane for his daughter's suicide. The police's theory and most likely Shane's as well. Glancing sideways at the broken form lying in that unfriendly hospital room Alice hoped deeply that Shane wouldn't fall victim to that crazy bastard after all and never recover from this. But she vowed to be there. All of them had. To be there for both Shane and Carmen.

* * *

**A/N: I Know a rather dissatisfying end but I didn't wanna delve into the entire Carmen and Shane fight through it thing for now. I won't promise but if you want there might be a sequel but don't wait for it. Be surprised if there'll be one.(Kind of still haven't found a way to keep my muse on track to finish a story under a year or almost two;))  
**

**Thx for everyone who stayed with me despite my less than sporadic updating. And of course thanks to everyone who read and special thx for those who reviewed and put this on their alert lists. And please leave a review on your way out.  
**

**Smudje**


End file.
